Surprised by God’s Blessings

One of the things I value most in my life are my talks with my mom.  My mom lives half a country away from me, deep in southern Missouri.  She loves God.  She loves her family, and she loves the land.  She is a constant source of strength for me, especially these last few years of court battles and financial hardships.  She encourages me and believes in me when I don’t believe in myself.  It is not an easy thing to be a single mother and solo parent raising six children on a teacher’s salary.  It’s even more challenging when you are continuing to be abused and have to constantly stand in an arena of self-defense because abusers do not change.  Time and time again, I have faltered and fallen. 

When I get overwhelmed and hurt deep in my soul, it is easy to look at all my failures and wonder how did I get to where I am?  How come my marriage didn’t work out?  Why is my family broken?  How did I take a left instead of a right?  Why did I get hurt on the job?  How did I financially end up in such a mess?  Couldn’t I have done better?  And because of my PTSD, I just loop and focus on all the wrong things. I have thought I was too beaten up to rise again, and so I call my mom.  To cheer me  up, she likes to tell me stories from her farm, and her most recent one was about the goats eating her brussel sprout patch.

My mom has a lot of different animals on the farm: cows, sheep, chickens, horses, pigs, and goats.  Each one has their own sort of style, but her favorite are her goats.  Goats are lively creatures.  They love to play and jump.  They are always happy and they stick together in the herd, but they are also notorious escape artists!  Because of the cleft in their hooves and the strength of their hind quarters, goats have incredible jumping power and get out of almost any enclosure you have them in - even a ten foot paneled fence.  I know from having my own goat herd once upon a time!

Well, one day, my mom came home from work, and as she was driving up her dirt road, she saw that the goats had broken out of their pen.  She parked her car and began herding the goats back into their pens, but as she did so she noticed that her beautiful brussel sprout patch had been completely decimated.  The goats had spent the day enjoying her brussel sprout patch, and now all that remained were tiny little broken shoots.  There were no flowers.  No heads of tiny cabbages.  Not even leaves.  All that remained were trampled plants and little stubs of what promised to be a great harvest.

Now if there is anything about the farm that my mom loves more than her goats, it is her gardens.  The gardens are her pride and joy, and I could hear the sadness in her voice as she told me about her brussel sprouts.  However, I was so caught up in my own troubles that brussel sprouts and goats weren’t really where my focus was.  I live a very different life than my mom, and like a lot of daughters I sometimes am not as patient with my mom as I should be, but she continued nonetheless.

Devastated by the brussel sprouts patch and annoyed at her goats, it was too late to replant and she was too tired to try to salvage anything, so she left it.  A reminder of disappointment and heartache.  A painful image of broken hope and despair.  She secured the goat pen tighter, but the brussel sprout patch was a loss.  But, my mom continued (as I rolled my eyes wondering the point of this story), she began to notice that by the end of the week, some of those broken stalks had turned green again.  By the second week, they had begun to grow taller, and by the third week some had even begun to flower.  Within four weeks, not only had the brussel sprout patch completely come back to life, but it was actually fuller and more productive than what she had originally planted.  In all the devastation, there came a surprise blessing of bountifulness!

Now I listened more closely.  

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you work, goats just come in and destroy your brussel sprout patch leaving you hurt, angry, and full of shame that you didn’t do better?  I do!  Constantly.  I often wonder what I am doing wrong, and why things aren’t easier for me like they appear to be for others.  I wonder why I don't have the same blessings as other women: solid careers, intact families, loving marriages, beautiful homes, and fat bank accounts.  I have done my best to honor God and do right by my family, and yet goats destroy the fruit of my labor and I am left looking at broken shoots and trampled leaves.  

The Psalmist, David, often felt this way, too.  In Psalm 25, he writes “Do not let me be put to shame nor let my enemies triumph over me…see how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me (v. 2, 19).”  Hunted by King Saul, David knew what it was like to despair.  To have broken dreams and a broken heart.  He knew what it was like to know he had something good and not have it come to fruition.  But David also knew that if He put his hope in God and not in what he saw around him, that God would be faithful to him.  He writes, “according to Your love remember me, for You are good, oh Lord….all the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful (v 7, 10).”  

I know that I often struggle to see the goodness of God in the midst of my own personal struggles, but there is nothing that God cannot redeem, and like my mom’s brussel sprout patch, sometimes there is an even greater blessing waiting for us on the other side of what we consider devastation.  God’s Word is clear, “No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame (v. 3).”  Our responsibility is to fear the Lord, put our hope in Him, and keep our eyes ever on the Lord (v. 5, 12, 15).  We are to listen to his instruction, and do our best to stay close to him (v. 4, 5, 8, 9, 12).  IF we do that; IF we walk with integrity and uprightness (v. 21), then He will confide in us, and we will spend our days in prosperity  and our “descendants will inherit the land (v. 13, 14). 

I don’t know about you, but promises like that give me hope!  They give me hope that God will be faithful to me when the hard times come.  That He will stay by my side and guide me, and even better - He will redeem all the brussel sprout patches in my life.  And not only will He redeem them, He will bless my children.  God always gives more than we expect, He just doesn’t always do it the way we expect Him, too.  We see devastation, but God sees a double harvest!  So if you are struggling today, take refuge in the Lord - His heart is to rescue you, redeem you, and bless you.  Draw close to Him, and He will be faithful.  Continue to honor His Word, and watch and see.

Habakkuk’s Hope

“Look…and watch – be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your day that you would not believe even if I told you” - Habakkuk 1:5

I could hear the sirens in the background as my sister began to text me pictures of bright oranges flames surrounding the porch and leaping out the second story windows. The family homestead was burning.  My older brother had gone in to get my 90-year-old grandpa, but unfortunately, they didn’t make it out.

         It was December 19, 2020, almost Christmas – the season of hope – and instead of celebrating I would be heading back home to bury my older brother and grandpa, to comfort my grieving parents and help them start over again in their 60s.  This wasn’t the first time I had gotten a call like this.  Two years ago, my older brother who died in the fire, had called me to tell me that our youngest brother had committed suicide.  We still to this day don’t know what happened there and the grief haunts our family.

         How much tragedy can one family take?  My parents have buried, not one, but TWO sons – their oldest and their youngest.  The sheer heaviness of it all was just so much – still so much. 

         2020 was like that - just one tragedy after another.  The challenges just kept coming for us all.

         So, what are we supposed to do in the midst of the hurt and heartache?  Overwhelming obstacles and unexpected challenges?  When everything else in this world fails– houses burn, people die, friends betray, and jobs are lost?  When all our hopes and dreams that we worked so hard for – just disappear in a matter of hours? 

         Those are the moments that define our faith. 

         Standing in the soot, ash covering my boots, I put my arms around my grieving mother and I questioned: God HOW MUCH MORE?  Where ARE you in this?  Don’t you see our grief? our pain? our suffering?  And he whispered the words from Habakkuk to my heart: “Look…and watch – be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your day that you would not believe even if I told you” (Hab.1:5).  You see, my heart was so full of grief that I was losing the forest for the trees.  I couldn’t, and even now I struggle, to see how God is going to make beauty for ashes (Is. 61:3).  God’s Word tells us “there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning” (Ps. 30:5), and so many of us are in a dark, dark night. 

        But God’s Word promises us that He is unfailing (Ro. 8:39), that He is constant (Is. 40:8, 28), that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5) – and in times of grief and tragedy, when we just don’t know what God is doing, we have to trust that HE DOES.  He sees the grand plan, and so like Habakkuk, I chose to “stand at my watch, and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say” (Hab. 2:1).  Won’t you join me, waiting to be utterly amazed?

Where is your focus?

Lately it seems that so many things in my life push me into a place of depression and despair. I’ve been in rough places before – my youngest brother’s suicide, my oldest brothers unexpected death, the burning down of the family homestead. These were TOUGH moments – but nothing is tougher than when things directly impact your kids or your relationship with them. When people hurt your children intently – IT HURTS – and it is confusing and upsetting and a whole slew of other powerful emotions.

Recently this happened to me. Someone close to my family sought to intentionally hurt my children, and the result was sheer heartbreak for me. Crying. Aching. Utter confusion at what was going on. I STILL don’t know what is going on, BUT I am fortunate to be surrounded by strong women who came alongside me and said EVEN in your despair – you need to SING. You need to PRAISE. You need to tell God HOW GREAT HE IS – even if things don’t end up how you think they should.

I am SO THANKFUL for women of worship.  Who somehow in the midst of their own darkness, are able to not only redirect themselves, but redirect others to focus on their greatness of God rather than their own circumstances. When I served on the worship team, I often showed up for worship practice in all my brokenness. I’d manage fine. I’dd even manage fine for the first half of Sunday morning church – BUT second half? I would so overcome with grief and hurt and mourning, I’d just put my mic down, go to the altar and CRY. Sob like a baby for all the church to see.  Super embarrassing - but yet, so incredibly healing!

God was working in my heart. Telling me – you HAVE to deal with the anger in your heart – and I’m NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. You have to GIVE IT TO ME. Your anger is hurting you. It’s hindering MY MOVEMENT because this isn’t about the OTHER PERSON – it's about YOU! All this hurt and heartache is breaking your heart so that you can lean into ME. So that I can reshape your heart to be like MINE. So that you can have compassion and mercy and humility.

And I just sobbed and sobbed. Because who wants to give something up when you feel so entitled to it? When the injustice has been done to YOU? No one! I am the WRONGED party, not the one doing the wrong? Why should I forgive? Why should I let it continue? Why should I NOT be angry and hateful and hard? Why should I NOT give back what I am receiving?

But that is NOT God’s way.

God did not SAVE THE WORLD by spitting vinegar back at Roman soldiers.

God did not SAVE THE WORLD by laughing at a Roman soldier whose ear was cut off.

God did not SAVE THE WORLD by defending himself to Pilate.

NO. God’s way is different. God’s way is to believe that His Father’s plan IS BETTER. God’s plan is about the BIG PICTURE and about people’s hearts. God’s heart is pure and holy and He tells us “Be holy because I am holy”. There is NO OTHER reason. The goal of the Christian walk is to BE LIKE CHRIST and how are we – how am I – going to be like Christ with all this anger and hatred and lack of trust in my heart? How can I be like Jesus if I don’t believe God has it all figured out? If I don’t believe what the Bible tells me – that the righteous will not be forsaken, that vengeance I the Lord’s, that he has GOOD THINGS planned for me!

Now I’m not saying I’ve arrived. My heart hurts. Giving anger over to God is a process – one finger at a time around my heart of stone towards this person. BUT I know in my core that there is NOTHING I want more than to please the Lord. I can’t explain that to people, I just know in my bones that HE IS REAL and HIS WORD IS TRUE.

So there at the altar – I committed myself – one finger at a time. Let the anger go. Focus on who God wants me to be. Let HIM do the work and stop trying to figure it out. I’ve done everything right and STILL things seem to be going wrong. Everyone is confused and puzzled. I’m told over and over again that no one has ever seen something like what I have had to deal  with because it is so contrary to everyone else’s experience. The confusion angers me. The constant defeat angers me. The hurt and the brokenness angers me. The sheer level of unnecessary cruelty and meanness shown to me and my children – ANGERS ME. But there is nothing I can do about someone else. I can only work on me and what God expects of me.

When we willingly lay down our spirit of despair and purposely put on a garment of praise, God moves.  What obstacle are you holding on to today? What is God saying to your heart – give it to me because I’m not going to take it. I challenge you – one finger at a time. Trust that God will work on your heart and mold you to be more like Him in your brokenness.

Believing without Fear

Spring rains have a way of refreshing more than just the soil.  After a long winter in the Northeast, the Spring rains come in bringing new life to everything around it.  The trees sprout beautiful pale green leaves that look like lace draped between the branches of mighty oaks and elegant maples.  Flowers blossom in an array of colors: first the crocus and snow drops, then the daffodils, and the hyacinth.  The fragrances of the pink and purple hyacinths can fill a room like none other.  Grass begins to grow, and you can hear the starting up of lawn mowers as we prepare for that first mow of many more to come.  It’s a season of excitement because new things are happening, and we want to be a part of it after being indoors for 6 months.

Deuteronomy is about new things.  The Israelites have left Egypt.  They have been wandering in the desert for 40 years.  They have been given the Ten Commandments, and they have broken them numerous times.  But Deuteronomy is where the Lord finally tells them “Go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers” (1:8 NASB).  The winter is over, the wandering in the desert is done - GO!  Because “you have stayed long enough” (1:6).  

They must have been excited.  FINALLY - no more manna and quail.  FINALLY no more walking and walking and walking.  FINALLY a place to settle down, where we don’t have to sent up a tent every few weeks.  FINALLY the promise of NEW THINGS!!!  Spring, a new season for the Israeilites was upon them.  So Moses has 12 men, one from each tribe come together to go scout it out.  They come back with great news - “It is GOOD land which the Lord is about the give us” (v. 25). The fruit is good, they held it in their hands.  The land is good - look at the harvest.  

BUT.

Moses reminds them.

BUT - “you were not willing” and then the Israelites rebelled.  This is how Moses opens up Deuteronomy.  The Spring is coming.  God is ready to give them the land.  The land is good - BUT, God’s Word says, they “grumbled”.  Their hearts “melted”: “the people are bigger and taller than we; the cities are larger and fortified to heaven.  And BESIDES, we saw the sons of Anakim there” (1:28).  

Do you do this?  I know I do.  God reveals himself.  Gives me a directive.  Prompts my heart. I get all excited, and before long I get distracted with the BUTs.

BUT it’s too hard.

BUT I don’t have time.

BUT the laundry needs folding - I couldn’t possible make that call or write that card.

BUT dinner isn’t made, and my kids are hungry, so charge that McDs run again.

BUT everyone else is BETTER than me - MORE successful, BIGGER house, MORE money, fancier vacations, nicer cars.

And before I know it FEAR sets in.  Fear I’m going to fail.  Fear I’m not going to be accepted.  Fear I’m going to look like a fool.  Fear God isn’t going to show up.

Let’s  be honest - FEAR is a very real thing, and its what keeps us from moving forward.

God knows this.  He created us in his image.  Remember back in the garden in Genesis - when Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden, they “hid themselves from His presence” (v. 8) because as Adam states very cleary “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was AFRAID…so I hid myself” (v. 10).  There it is.  The first reference that we have to fear in the Bible, and it is related to disobedience.  Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and as a result FEAR entered the world.  

God knows this.  In the Genesis account, God had warned Adam and Eve to stay away from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, and they didn’t.  He had warned them, and they disobeyed.  He created this beautiful lush garden for them to enjoy, and then He took it away as a consequence to their decision to sin.  However, when we flash forward to Dueteronomy, God doesn’t issue a warning, He says “I have PLACED the land before you; GO in and POSSESS the land” (v. 8).  He echoes it again in verse 21, “the Lord your God has PLACED the land before you; GO UP, TAKE POSSESSION…do NOT fear or be dismayed”.  These are very strong affirmative verbs.  God is very clear that He will honor the promises He has made to the Israelites.  The land is theirs.  The new season is upon them.  All they have to do is move forward in their faith that God is going to make good on His end.  He has given them a vision, a promise.  He even lets them hold the good fruit in their hands as evidence that He is reliable and true!

BUT, the 12 return and rather than focus on the land and the goodness God has for them, 10 focus on the distractions.  They allow their fear to cloud their faith - they are too big, they are too strong, they have more advantages - it’s not possible for us to be successful here despite what God has revealed to us and allowed us to tangible see and hold.

And so they grumbled.  Just like they grumbled in Exodus 15-16 after seeing the Egyptian army swept away.  

The interesting thing to me though, isn’t that they grumbled, or that they allowed fear to live in their hearts - it’s how God responds. Moses writes, “DO NOT be shocked,nor fear them.  The Lord your God who GOES BEFORE you will Himself fight on your behalf, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how God CARRIED you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place” (v 29-31).

We grumble.  And God patiently reminds.

If He has given us a passion, a dream, a vision in our hearts - then He is going to go before us and He will bring it to fruition.  However, we think that also means it will be EASY, and the two are not the same.  Just because it’s been promised, doesn’t mean it's going to be easy.  God will go before us, but we must do our part.  Jesus is the savior of the world, and I’m confident he would have preferred an easier road than the Via de la Rosa!  Yes, He would be glorified. Yes, He would save us all. But the road?  The road was filled with mockery and betrayal and being dismissed.  Ultimately resulting is a really horrific death of incredible pain.  Jesus Himself begged, “Father, IF you are willing, remove this cup from ME” (Luke 22:42).  Even Jesus wanted an easier road to fulfill the promise God had made.  Fortunately for us, Jesus was able to continue, “yet not MY will, but Yours be done” (v. 42), but the passage continues into verse 44 where Luke, the medical doctor, writes “being in agony…His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground”.  Jesus was AFRAID because He knew the road ahead.  He knew the lips of Judas would be pressed against His cheek. He knew the sting of the cat of nine tails was coming.  He knew the impact of a Roman soldier's fist would shatter his eye, and the sound of nails that would be driven through his hands.  

He KNEW.

But rather than grumble like the Israelites who couldn’t see past their fear, Jesus said even in fear, He would go and possess the land. He would obey.  He would honor God.  He would not let His fear take away the promise God made to redeem the world.

Back in Deuteronomy, Moses continues - “but for ALL THIS - you did not trust the Lord your God, who GOES BEFORE you on your way, to seek out a palace for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to SHOW you the way in which you should go” (1:33).  Even after all God’s faithfulness, do you find yourself still doubting?  Still being afraid?  Asking yourself - how will I ever see the dreams He has put on my heart come true? I know I struggle with the “buts” of my life.  The distractions.  I wonder how willI ever get where I want to go, or rather, where I believe He wants me to go. 

The answer is simple. Do not be shocked that the road looks different than you thought.  God isn’t interested in easy, He is interested in making you more like Christ.  Building up your faith and cultivating your character.  Do not be afraid.  God has gone before you - prepared a place for you.  It might not be what you thought it would be, but He’s already ahead of you because He sees the bigger picture.  And do not forget.  Do not forget what He has done for you.  You might not have had manna falling from the sky, but I remember very clearly getting my nails done and the nail technician overhearing my lament that my grill was no longer operable and he gave me a BRAND NEW ONE.  True story, my pastor’s wife/BFF was with me!  

If God be for us.  If God be for YOU - then who can be against you.  Your role is to be like Jesus - trust that God is going to do what He says He will do.  So move forward.  Stop grumbling.  Go and possess the land He has prepared for you.

Mountain Highs and Valley Lows

It was another Saturday morning, just like any other.  I was up earlier than my kids, my body adjusted to the routine of getting up every day at 6am for work.  But because it was Saturday, my kids got to sleep in, while I processed the silence. 

I took my dog down the stairs, and let him out.  I removed the coffee filter from yesterday’s coffee and began a new pot.  When it was finished brewing, I sat outside in the misty Spring air, with my dog by my side and a mug of coffee in my hands.  My heart heavy as I tried to make sense of my week.

The week after Spring Break is the hardest for us teachers.  Kids don’t want to be there after a week of playing in the sun and having all the time in the world to do as they please.  Spring Break is a tease of what is to come - 3 months of Summer!  So when Monday hits, no one is really happy about it, and us teachers are just holding on until the middle of June.  With checked out students and exhausted teachers, we press on to the end of the school year.  Day after day preparing lessons we hope to get through with content we hope they learn.  Some days are successful, and others simply aren’t, so you have to learn to roll with. 

But in addition to that, I got a phone call I wasn’t expecting.  Halfway through my third period class, my phone rings, and it is one of my older children.  “Mom, I’m in trouble. I need you to come with me to the police station.”  My heart stopped. Police station?  What was going on?  How could this be?  Just a few weeks ago I was bragging about how successful this child was and how proud I was of the direction they were going - and now I was needed at the police station?  It's not exactly words any mother wants to hear, and yet I heard it again: “I’m in trouble, and the police want me to come in for questioning.”  I hung up the phone with an intense, “Don’t do anything until I call you back during prep.  I’m in class,” and then continued on with my lesson on prepositions and nouns.  

What in the world just happened?  

The last 15 months of my life had been a crazy ride of getting me and my children out of a 22 year domestic violence marriage and resettling.  Then, just as I was thinking I was on the mountain top and able to breath, I got hurt at work and was out for three weeks.  My symptoms became ongoing - a permanent litany of doctors appointments and my head constantly feeling locked in a vice.  Ringing in my ears piercing any silence that I may long for.  I still cry as I learn to accept that this might just be my new normal.  Debilitated from things I used to be able to do.  Forced to think differently about the activities I can and cannot do least I make things worse for myself.

And now THIS?

I remember a few years back after a different family tragedy - another phone call that changed my life - a dear friend said, “Man, your life is like a country music song!”  And a few days ago I was just texting my best friend about how my life seems like one endless Greek tragedy - always trying to stay ahead of fate, but never able to.  You just want a break from the hardship.  From the tragedy.  From the frustration of getting knocked down again, and again, and again.

So, there I was.  Saturday.  Quiet.  Trying to figure out what is the next step.  Trying not to let the tears fall in an unwanted pity party that I desperately wanted to throw for myself.  The truth is my heart was angry.  WHY?  Why can’t I just get a break?  Why can’t my kid just go off to college, make good grades, graduate and lead a successful normal life?  Why can’t I just work ONE job instead of two and hustling for a third in the summer to provide for my family?  Why can’t these students just sit in a chair and pay attention without throwing markers and stealing each others’ crocs?  Why am I going nowhere?

Well, for me.  When things are difficult, I have a tendency to go back to my Bible.  When I have nowhere else to go, I go back to Jesus.  It’s sad that He isn’t usually my first stop on the “I don’t know what to do”  road, but it’s true.  I prefer to try and figure things out myself, and then IF I can’t, I figure maybe the Bible can help me out!  I wish it were the other way around, but I think if we are honest, most of us are like that.  Something comes up and we just try to deal with it.  We try to make sense of it and then make a plan.

But who really plans for the “I’m getting arrested” phone call?  Or a basketball to the face?  Or to be escorted away from your home with your kids because your husband went crazy and you weren’t physically safe anymore?

No one does.  And when it does, you just try to figure it out, but sometimes it’s just TOO MUCH.

The Lord has recently been putting in on my heart to study Deuteronomy.  After this incredible exodus flight out of my marriage, and seeing how God showed up, fought for me and my children, and then brought us to safety where we currently are, I figured I was out of Egypt and life was going to be great! And indeed they are - but they certainly aren’t perfect.

 After the Exodus, after the Israelites walked through the Red Sea on dry land and saw the Egyptian Army washed away - they rejoiced and sang “You will bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance, the place, O Lord, which You have made for Your dwelling…the Lord shall reign forever and ever” (Exodus 15:17-18, NASB).  Yes - we will LIVE on the mountain top!  Protected.  Safe.  Forever with all the goodness of God where nothing horrible can come against us!  From my perspective, I was finally living on the mountain top!

Flash forward ten verses, and we read: “all the congregation of the sons of Israel came to the wilderness of Sin…the whole congregation of the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness” (Exodus 16: 1-2 NASB).  How quickly did the Israelites realize - um, this isn’t exactly what we thought our life would look like?  What happened to the “mountain of Your inheritance”?  Instead, here we find ourselves in a desert - without water, far from the comforts of what we knew, and we’re frustrated and confused.  

That’s me!  And I bet it’s been you, too.  Life didn’t quite go the way you thought it would.  The victory wasn’t as sweet.  The road, not as smooth.  The pace, not fast enough.  Yes - you’re not where you were - but now you’re not where you thought you’d be.  Your kids aren’t making the best choices.  Your job isn’t as satisfying.  Your bills are mounting, as is your frustration - and so, we grumble.  We grumble in our hearts.  We grumble to our friends.  We grumble on social media as we try to figure it out.  You wonder - what happened to the “mountain of Your inheritance”, my mountain top experience?  Where did it go?

We will probably never see something like what Israel did - a sea physically parting, and then walking through on dry land.  We usually talk about that “story” in more of a figurative sense today even though it was an actual physical event, but I know God has moved on my behalf in great and mighty ways.  And I bet, if you look back on your life, you can see those “Red Sea moments” and the incredible recognition of God’s deliverance and protection over you.  The thing is, we can’t “live” in those moments, but we CAN live in God’s continued presence.  Exodus 16:9, Moses writes, “Come near before the Lord, for He has heard your grumblings”.  But he doesn’t stop there, he continues: “they looked towards the wilderness, and BEHOLD, the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud” (v. 10).  

I sit here this morning, the house is starting to stir.  We have Lacrosse games, tennis lessons, horseback riding, swim team practice, karate, and a birthday party today.  I have three loads of laundry sitting on my couch and a sink full of dishes I was too tired to wash last night.  And in the midst of it all, in my frustration and my grumbling, God simply says “Look out into the wilderness - you will see ME”.  The God of the mountain experiences is the same God of the valley ones, too.  His Word tells me and you, that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut. 31:8).  Then he provided quail and manna FROM THE SKY!  

We cannot live in the mountain of His inheritance on this side of heaven because life is full of valley experiences, but if we look out past the wilderness, He will reveal Himself to us, and “You shall know that I am the Lord your God” (Exodus 16:12).  Through the tears, we will know.  I will know.

He.

Is.

God.